Relational conflict: a conflict resulting from either personality clashes or negative emotional interactions between two or more people.
The ancient book of Numbers has quite a few examples of relational conflict. Chapters 11 and 12 in particular have a lot of it. When people become stressed and expectations are unmet, it can lead to a place of chaos in our relationships.
Today I'd like to share what I've learned from the book of Numbers on avoiding and resolving relational conflict.
The People Complain About Food
...and so the Israelites wept again and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we used to eat freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic..."
Numbers 11:4-5
The Israelites were struggling to be patient while God led them to the promised land. God had promised them that he was going to take them out of slavery in Egypt and give them a land flowing with abundance. Sounds wonderful right? Well the process of making it to the borders of the promised land would take about a year of being led through a desert. The people were feeling burned out and exhausted; so they complained. "If only we had some satisfying meat to eat instead of this bread that God is giving us day after day." Of course God hears their complaining and doesn't appreciate it. So he tells them all, "I'll send you meat all right. I'll send so many quail that the bodies will stack three feet tall for miles on either side of your camp!" Moses, who is the leader of the people, doubts God which further ticks him off so God says, "Since your life as slaves in Egypt was so great I'll give you enough quail that you'll be eating it for a month straight! It'll be coming out of your nose and make you sick by the end of it!"
So just as God said, there were millions of dead quail the next day for them to eat, and just like he said, they became sick from it. Some of them became so sick that they died, which makes me think that they caught a virus or bacteria from all the dead birds.
I can't help but think that it wasn't the fact that the people wanted to have some meat that made God angry, but it was the way in which they complained about it. If the people would have thanked God for all of the provision and miracles leading up to that point, and then asked with humility for some food variety, maybe God would've reacted differently to them. There is an old proverb that states, "A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.".
Moses Is Overwhelmed With Leadership
Moses said to Yahuah, "Why have you afflicted your servant? Why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of this entire people on me?"
Numbers 11:11
I've heard it said that every blessing has its burden. When we feel overwhelmed with the stresses of work and family, sometimes the best thing to do is to express it and ask for help. That's what Moses did when the burden of leading God's people became too much for him to handle on his own. Moses felt so overwhelmed by his life's situation that he asked God to just kill him so he didn't have to suffer the soul crushing weight of it any longer! "I am not able to bear this entire population alone, because it is too heavy for me! But if you are going to deal with me like this, then kill me immediately. If I have found favor in your sight then do not let me see my trouble." Numbers 11:14-15.
You can tell by Moses's choice of words that he was beyond his limit with this situation and didn't spare God any of the fearful emotions he was feeling; and that's okay. God took his concerns to heart and had compassion on his friend by appointing an extra seventy people to bear the burden of leadership with him. Now he wasn't feeling the weight of the world on his lonely shoulders any longer.
Sometimes God is waiting on us to bring our burdens to him so he can give us solutions to the problems of our lives. We need not go through life alone.
Miriam's Slander Repays Her
Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had married. They said, "Has Yahuah only spoken through Moses? Has he not also spoken through us?" And Yahuah heard it.
Numbers 12:1-2
Moses's sister Miriam seemed to be jealous of his position as leader of Israel and didn't approve that he was married to a foreigner. Their brother Aaron joined in on the gossiping and God wanted to set the record straight with them all. Numbers 12 says that God immediately called Miriam, Aaron and Moses into the tent of meeting to settle the matter. Now Miriam and Aaron thought that they deserved to lead the people just as much as Moses because they were prophets and thought they were hot stuff. God had other thoughts and began to put Moses's siblings in their place. "If there is a prophet among you, I Yahuah will make myself known to them in a vision; I will speak to them in a dream. My servant Moses is not like this; he is faithful in all my house. With him I will speak face to face, openly, and not in riddles; and he will see the form of me. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?" Numbers 12:6-8.
God was not impressed with the pride and slander of the two, but especially Miriam who had started the trouble. God left them standing in the tent of meeting after defending Moses and they realized that Miriam had leprosy suddenly! They both cried out to Moses to ask for God's forgiveness and to heal her of the disease. Moses did as they asked since he was a righteous and humble man (pretty much proving God's point) and all became well in time.
What I've learned from this story is that sometimes it's best to just keep our negative thoughts to ourselves. There isn't anything good going to come from slandering your neighbor, your peer, co-worker etc.. If we are feeling negative about our life situation bring it to God in prayer rather than sowing discord among the people - it will only bring bad things.
Conclusion
Some of the most difficult and on going issues in life are avoiding and resolving relational conflict. There are just so many different personalities out there - people's different wants and needs - we are bound to not jive with them all. I believe we can have peaceful days ahead if we open our hearts to a little more patience, understanding and love for each other. Cheers friends.